Learning You.

In the past few blogs we have been looking at the team scenario and reflecting on my personal take on the interactions and inter-working of our team. Recently, I took the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) that accesses individual behavior in conflict situations. For a quick recap, I have determined that our team's dysfunctions could have possibly been fear of conflict. Also, I concluded that my potential contribution to that dysfunction is that I do shy away from and find conflict grotesque. By taking the TKI I now have the ability to look at how I prefer to navigate through conflict and look at my areas of growth to be cognizant of moving forward.

My TKI results revealed that the strongest attribute in dealing with conflict was collaborating. This is not surprising at all considering the previous dialogues about our team and how well we typically work together. When dealing with conflict I typically like to work with others to find a solution and resolve some conditions that allows us to work together to avoid disagreement. However, with no surprise my next runner up behavior in conflict to no surprise is “avoiding”.

Yup! I knew it… avoiding it! It is just something about conflict that bothers me. So, I began to dig deeper about what it is. I determined that if the conflict is directed towards or could seem directed towards me I internalize it and I would prefer to not be bothered with it. For example, during our team experience our main school improvement plan included improving SWD and ELL student scores. Well, unlike the other teachers I was the only one on the team who had the ELL classes and students. They obviously had no worries, however I had surmounted all the pressures. In turn, I believe when it came to discussing our plan and what we incorporated I avoided any conflict as it pertains to the necessary nuances. Anything in the plan that I felt truly needed to be incorporated for my students in our plan and went contested I avoided it because I did not want conflict. The thought was they wouldn't understand because they don’t have the issues I encountered with that particular population. Also, the realization of over viewing how my scores were in comparison to my counterparts put me into a defensive position as well. My bells and whistles started moving more and more when it came to this self- reflection journey. I then realized my “accommodating” score was only 3% behind avoiding. This could explain why when conflict arises I not only avoid it, but effectively cooperate with little push back and essentially shut down. It is almost as if I become so compliant and so silent with my words, that I become complacent. But wait there's more!

After further review of my TKI scores it seems as whole in all four categories I seem to rank in the middle. So what does this mean for me and how I deal with conflict. It means that I actually am incredibly flexible and how I choose to navigate conflict. For instance, since the inception of this series of blogs I have reflected on my fear of conflict in a negative aspect. Now, I can look at it in a more positive frame. What if I am not avoiding conflict in this particular scenario, what if I was actually working from my collaborating mindset and avoiding unnecessary conflicts? The TKI has definitely provided a shifted mindset when it comes to how I access and deal with conflict.

So how do I use the knowledge of my TKI and MBTI scores to navigate as a leader moving forward? For me, it is in the knowing and the awareness piece. Now that I know my preferences I can be aware as I navigate through leadership. I feel as if I am now able to apply the knowledge of my preferences in a way where I can be an effective leader. It also gives me the ability to keep digging deeper into who I am as a person and as a leader. I most importantly vow to keep evolving through my knowledge of my TKI and MBTI to become a better team member. I truly believe if I would have taken these assessments prior to my scenario the outcome, team experience, and how I navigated through it would have looked very different.